


Hit and love

by LoLecter



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dysphoria, First Time, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, John is a Saint, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Teenlock, Trans Male Character, Trans Sherlock, Transgender, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 15:47:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2587055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoLecter/pseuds/LoLecter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John have known each other for a month and they are both interested in being more than friends, but Sherlock doesn't want anything to happen because it means he will have to tell John he is transgender and he is sure he will lose him. One day some boys learn that he is a transman and they use the information to humiliate him in front of everyone. John happens to be there and it's how he learns it.<br/>Or the classical trope of John defending Sherlock against assholes and then being freaking amazing about Sherlock being transgender.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit and love

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after I heard some comments at school. It was meant to make myself feel better most of all, but I am glad I wrote it. More trans Sherlock is always good.  
> Also in most fic where Sherlock is a transman he almost always have no bottom dysphoria so I wanted to include that in the story. There should be no triggering words during the sex scene if you are a transman and worried about it. 
> 
> Sherlock would be 17 and John 18 in this. Sherlock has had top surgery, but not bottom surgery.  
> Other than that it's just John and Sherlock being adorable so enjoy. :)  
> ps: Sorry for the mistakes. Didn't go over it very much.

John had soon noticed that Sherlock was not well liked by the general student population and he genuinely didn’t understand why. For him the boy was amazing and he had told him so at more than one occasion, making him blush in a very adorable way.

They had only known each others for a month, but John already felt like he could spend the rest of his life with the boy and never get tired of him. Mike had been the one to present them at a boring party that they had left very soon to go running around campus and break into the morgue where they kept all the bodies for medicine students, of which John was a part of. They had almost got caught and had ran away to end up hiding in a cupboard, laughing and out of breath. 

After that they had spent almost all of their time together and very quickly John had realized he might feel more than friendship for Sherlock Holmes. It was not the first time he was attracted to a boy, but it was the first time, boy or girl, that he fell in love so hard and so fast.

He tried to give hint to the other boy about how he felt, but Sherlock seemed oblivious or he was just pretending not to notice. He was not sure which one exactly, but he could have sworn Sherlock felt something too so he didn’t understand why he didn’t do anything. Maybe he was scared of getting hurt. Maybe he simply didn’t do relationship. He was not sure, but he liked Sherlock enough to live with whatever he could give him and if it was just friendship then so be it.

He had not yet seen any student actively insult Sherlock in front of him or try to hurt him(probably because they spent most of their time alone together), but he had a feeling it had happened in the past and he was prepared to defend his friend if the day ever came he needed to. However, when that time came the reason why he had to defend Sherlock was not at all what he had expected.

Sherlock was used to bullying and he had learned to stop caring about what most people said to him years ago, but there was one subject that still made him feel irrationally hurt and angry every time it was mentioned. Not a lot of people beside his family knew that he was a transgender man. Molly knew because he had underestimated her intelligence and had let her seen his chest one afternoon during the summer. She had seen the scars and immediately guessed. She had kept his secret to his relief, but somehow Sebastian Wilke, one of the idiots who liked to insult him every chance he got, had now found out as well.

Sherlock was walking back to his room from the library when Sebastian made him know in a very not subtle way, surrounded by all of his friends. Very loudly and obviously trying to catch the boy attention he said:  
“Hey guys, do you know what my cousin told me the other day? She went to the same school as this girl who wanted to become a boy. She liked to be called Sherlock and was an annoying smart ass who didn’t have any friends. Does it remind you of anyone?”  
Sherlock had stopped on the spot and felt his blood run cold before Sebastian had even made half of his speech.

They knew. Soon everyone would know and they would have a new reason to call him a freak. They would have new insults. New ways to hurt him without even touching him. It would start all over again. They all stared at him with expressions going from amusement to pure disgust and horror. He tried to start walking again, but the group of boys moved in front of him, blocking his way. He could try to get around them, but he had a feeling they would not let him go just like that and he didn’t want to give them a reason to touch him.   
“You mean that the freak is a girl?” asked one of them very loudly.  
“Oh my god I would never have guessed looking at her.”  
“That is so freak.”  
It was like someone had stabbed him in the chest. He didn’t know why and frankly found it stupid to be so sensible about the subject, but comments like these still hurt him very deeply.  
“Yes, she is. I know she looks very convincing, but I assure you if we were to look in her pants we would find a cunt. Not that surprising really when you think about it. I always thought she was a freak, I just never guessed how much. ”

It was at this moment that he saw John Watson, his new and only real friend, standing not very far from there, frozen in place. He had thought about telling John a couple of times since it was very clear the boy was attracted to him and he was very far from indifferent himself. In spite of this he had finally decided to not say it. The fear of his reaction and of losing him was too strong. John was the only one who didn’t consider him a freak and he didn’t want to ruin that in the silly hope of a possible romantic relationship. He preferred to stay friend with him than tell him and lose him.

However, the decision to tell him had been taken out of his hands. John had heard them. It was obvious from his expression. He knew. There was nothing he could do. He had just lost his only friend. The only boy he had ever thought he could really love. He felt like crying, but his pride was stronger so he said to Sebastian instead:

“If you were a little smarter you would know that they are other, easier way to prove that I am transgender than looking in my pants, but I guess I should not expect much from a boy who would never have been admitted to university without his father making a substantial donation to the school.”

As much as he had tried his voice was not as confident as usual. John looked a mix of annoyed and angry by then. Angry that Sherlock had not told him most likely. Most people considered him not telling them a lie even if technically it was not really. He had to fight the tears that were coming in his eyes as some of the boys laughed at his comeback saying things like: “The girl is a mean bitch, but she is right.” or “Are you gonna let her get away with that?”  
He made two steps, decided to go this time, but Sebastian placed both hands on his chest to stop him. He looked angry enough to get physical which meant that he would probably end up being hit. If he was less lucky they would use the new information they had to humiliate him in a worse way.  
“Where do you think you are going freak? You think I will let a little girl like you humiliate me without...”

The rest of his threat was cut off by a fist hitting his face violently. That fist belonged to a very angry looking John Watson. Sherlock looked stupefied at his friend who started to speak to Sebastian and the rest of the boys simultaneously.  
“First of all, HE is not a girl and you will stop referring to him as such immediately. I don’t care what he has in his pants. He is no less a boy than me or you and he is a better man than you will ever be, you ignorant twat. Second, if I ever hear you insult him again, refer to him as girl, or even go near him I will make you regret the day you ever thought opening your stupid mouth in front of Sherlock was a good idea. And that applies to all of you. Keep your ignorant self away from both of us. Am I clear?”

John Watson looked downright terrifying and Sherlock had never felt more attracted to him. He had also never felt so much love for anyone. He felt like his heart was about to explode. One of the boys who visibly knew John asked in a tone that he tried to make mocking, but failed:  
“So you’re with Holmes now? I didn’t know you were a faggot too.”  
“Technically Holmes is a girl so he is not....”  
The boy didn’t have the time to finish his sentence that John was punching him hard in the face too. He made the same surprised and offended face that Sebastian had made and placed a hand under his bleeding nose.  
“What the fuck?”  
John talked very close to the boy face, looking a bit less angry than sooner, but still very impressive. The five other boys seemed to think so in anyway because none of them intervened.  
“He is a boy and yes, I am with him because I like boys too. Do you have a problem with that?”  
The boy nodded negatively and John stepped back. He finally looked at Sherlock and his expression went from hard to soft in an instant.  
“Coming?” he asked, offering his hand to him.  
Sherlock fixed John for a couple of seconds, stunned, before he took it, trembling slightly.

They both started walking away, everyone looking at them. Sherlock had no idea where they were going, but he didn’t care at all. He would follow him to the end of the world if he asked him in the instant.

When they were far enough not to be heard by any of the people that had been present at the scene John asked:  
“Is it ok if we go to my room? It’s closer than yours.”  
Sherlock acquiesced and followed silently. He probably looked like he was in shock. Mostly because he was. He could not comprehend what had just happened. Sebastian outing him, the terrifying idea that everyone would soon know, John defending him and learning what he was and not caring.... It was all too much to process.

When they arrived to his room John whispered softly:  
“All right we’re here now.”  
He let go of his hand to guide him gently to sit on the bed and Sherlock immediately missed the contact.  
“Are you alright?“ he asked, looking very worried.  
He could not answer him. He only looked at him, trying to show him all that he was feeling. Confusion, shock, fear, pain and with all of those negative emotions something more overwhelming. Love. He adored John Watson and he desperately tried to tell him without any words.

John didn’t understand. He only looked more worried.  
“I’m sorry about what these idiots said to you. They won’t bother you anymore I promise. I won’t let them.”  
Still no words.  
“I’m sorry about telling them I was with you. It’s just that they were acting like such ignorant pricks. I had to make them shut up. You don’t mind do you?”  
This time Sherlock shook his head. He barely moved and you had to be observing him very closely to notice it, but John did. He let out a breath of relief. Had he really thought Sherlock would be angry at him? What a strange creature he was.

Since he was still not saying anything and had not stopped looking like he was in deep shock John started talking about what Sherlock was most worried about.  
“If you are worried about my reaction to you being transgender, don’t be. I don’t care. You are still you. I’m not mad at you for not telling me either. I understand why you didn’t tell me. We have barely known each other for a month and it was not any of my business.”  
He was so amazed and overwhelmed he could not get any words out.  
“Sherlock please say something. You’re worrying me.”  
Taking a big breath he forced himself to finally speak for John.  
“You...you really don’t mind?” he asked, his voice shaking.  
“Mind what? You not telling me before?” the older boy asked, genuinely confused for an instant.  
Sherlock looked at him like he was some kind of strange aliens. Really? He didn’t know what he was talking about? His face must have made it clear because his mouth made an “oh” and he said:  
“You being Trans you mean? No, of course not. Why would I mind? Everything I said to them was true. Just because you were not born with the same part as me doesn’t mean that you are any less a boy. Sherlock did you...”  
It was John turn to look like he was having difficulty finding his words. He looked very sad for a moment and Sherlock didn’t understand why until he continued:  
“...did you really think that I would mind? That I would react like them? ”  
He felt sad for him. Sad that he had thought such a thing. Sherlock tried to explain:  
“People don’t... they don’t usually react very well.”

His voice was still shaking and John placed a hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him. The contact made a strange warmth take over his body.  
“I am so sorry you thought that. I don’t agree with anything they said about you, you know that right? You’re not a freak and I still see you as a man. A better one than all of them in fact. An amazing, extraordinary, handsome... ”  
“John” Sherlock cut him, feeling very emotional suddenly. He had to fight the tears in his eyes as he raised his hand to touch John face. His beautiful, perfect John. He only dared to touch his cheek an instant before looking away, feeling shy. The other boy swallowed loudly.  
“Sherlock... did you not want to be more than friends because of that?” he asked looking like it took him all of his courage to get the words out.  
“Because if that’s it then you should kn...”  
Sherlock could not stop himself. He kissed John, preventing him from going on. He understood. John didn’t mind him being transgender. He saw him as a man and he was attracted to him as such. He didn’t think he was a freak and by some miracle he also liked his personality.

The reasons that had been keeping him from kissing John Watson no longer being valid he didn’t see the point in stopping himself anymore. The boy made a sound of surprise again his lips, but it was not long before he placed his hands around Sherlock and kissed him back with the same ardour. Sherlock tried to say with his lips and tongue what he could not yet say with his voice. He tried to say the love and adoration and happiness.  

When they finally broke apart, out of breath, John looked at him with a mix of amazement and affection.  
“So I guess that’s a yes to that question.” He said placing their forehead together and taking the hand Sherlock had placed on his face in his. The younger boy was confused for a moment. His brain had disconnected himself the moment his tongue had entered John’s mouth and he was having a hard time getting it to function again. What question was he talking about already? Seeing his confusion John explained, looking more serious out of the sudden:  
“Listen to me Sherlock Holmes. You being transgender does not change in any way whatsoever how I feel about you. I still feel as attracted to you as I was before and I am still madly in love with you.”  
Sherlock was again taken by surprise. He knew that John liked him and felt attracted to him, but he would have never dared to think he was actually in love with him. Because he could and because he felt like it Sherlock kissed him again. More gently this time, only using his lips.  
“Thank you.” He whispered.  
“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” Protested John.  
“Yes, I do. You didn’t have to intervene back there with Sebastian. I would have understood. I would have forgiven you.”  
“But I would not have. I could never have forgiven myself for not doing anything.”

Sherlock didn’t answer anything simply because there was nothing he could say that would explain how grateful and full of love he felt. All he could do was kiss him again to try and show it to him. He pulled the boy toward him so that he was lying on the bed with John on top of him. He could not resist exploring the smaller body with his hands and when he grabbed his ass John bucked against him, moaning in the kiss.  He broke out for hair and then started to kiss Sherlock neck, biting and licking his skin. Being as sensitive as he was Sherlock breath became erratic. He decided to say something he had in mind before he was rendered completely speechless.    
“You looked... very... attractive when you hit those idiots.”

That made John laughs.  
“Really? Did it turn you on?” he asked amused.  
“Y...yesssss” he said just as John was sucking a particularly sensitive spot on his collar bone. Sherlock was not the only one to be aroused as proved by the hardness he could feel against his lower stomach. John bucked involuntarily against him a couple of time and Sherlock decided to do something about it. While John went back to kissing him and exploring his mouth with his tongue he placed a hand between them and touched the hard member through John jeans. John gasped in his mouth and moved toward his hand again before he froze. He stopped Sherlock hand and moved back a little, looking worried.  
“Before we... before I can’t think clearly anymore is there anything that you don’t want me to do? Or places you don’t want me to touch?”

Sherlock felt his heart melt in his chest. The simple fact that John cared enough about him to ask the question...and that he was smart enough to guess that Sherlock would probably have some limits made him love him even more. He was in fact a bit uncomfortable with his bottom area and the thought of doing some things made him feel more bad than good. However, he didn’t want to worry about that at the moment. All he wanted was to make John come and if possible have him in his mouth. His own pleasure didn’t matter and to be honest he was not sure what he would be ready to let John do.  
“I will tell you when we get there, but for now can I just suck you off? Please!” he almost begged.    
John pupils dilated by at least half their original size. It was very obvious that Sherlock would not have to beg more. The older boy very much wanted to have his cock in Sherlock mouth.    
“What about you?”  
“After.” Was all the answer he gave him before he pushed John on his back and went down to sit between his legs. He tried to keep his hands from trembling when he opened his trouser and got him out of his pants. He felt John get even harder in his hand. He had never done it before so he was a little scared of making a mess of it. He looked at John who was watching him, his mouth open, his eyes almost black from desire.  

The blond boy was so aroused that it would have been difficult to not please him in any way. Sherlock licked the head of his penis, observing his reaction. His soft cry and hips moving automatically made Sherlock suddenly very aroused himself. He didn’t hesitate anymore before placing the warm cock into his mouth and sucking at it with almost as much pleasure as John was having receiving. His gag reflex stopped him from taking all of the impressive length at first, but he slowly relaxed his throat and he was able to take all of it. John Watson was falling apart beneath him and he loved knowing that he was the one responsible for it. Sooner than he expected John said his name in both a warning and a moan of pleasure.  
“Sherlock! Fuck!”  
Feeling his tight contract Sherlock guessed that he was coming, but he didn’t move, swallowing every drop of sperm that came and licking him clean. Hearing the boy say his name and curse as he was coming was definitely the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

He placed John cock back in his pant and went to lie beside him again. He kissed John, letting him taste himself in his mouth. His boxer felt horribly wet at this stage, but he was still not sure what he would do about it. He didn’t feel ready for John to touch him there yet and he didn’t want to just masturbate in front of the boy either.  
“It was incredible. You are amazing.” John said to him. “Let me do something for you too. Anything!”  
Sherlock thought of a compromise and hoped that John would agree to it.  
“Could you...touch me through my boxer? I don’t really want to take them off yet, but I still want...” He said with difficulty, not finishing his sentence.  
“Yes. Whatever you want Sherlock.”  
Sherlock lied on his back and opened his trouser, pushing them down just enough so that John would be able to touch his small dick through the thin cotton material. Sensing his anxiety John kissed him and placed his hand on his stomach for the time being.  
“If you ever want to stop just tell me and I will.”  

All he could do was nod as John finally placed his hand where he desperately needed it. Even through his pants it was easy to feel how  hard he was. Sherlock usually hated feeling wet when he was aroused, but this time he was too preoccupied by the idea that John was touching him to care. He pushed his hips up to tell him it was ok to move. John started rubbing him slowly and he started to pant. “Harder. Faster.” He begged his voice broken by the pleasure he was feeling. John kissed him, swallowing a long moan and then looked at him with adoration.  
“God you’re so beautiful like this. I love you so much.”  
All he could say back was “John.” over and over again as he continued to caress him. He said his name like a prayer, a swear word, a plea. John started kissing his neck again and groaned “God Sherlock.”

The friction against his cock and knowing that it was John made Sherlock incapable of keeping silent. When John bit him and he finally came his cry was loud enough to be heard by all the rooms nearby.

John could not bring himself to care about being heard. He was with this beautiful and fantastic boy and he wanted everyone to know it. He wanted them to know that he was the only one who was allowed to see him so vulnerable. The only one who could bring him so much pleasure. His name was the one Sherlock shouted when he came and somehow that made him happier than he had words to explain.

The younger boy looked completely wrecked and he felt proud knowing that it was because of him. He kissed him sweetly before lying on his back and pulling Sherlock in his arms.  Sherlock let his weak body being moved without any complain and buried his face in John’s neck with a happy sigh. John kissed his forehead and he felt Sherlock suddenly tense.  
“John about what you said...I... I love you too.”  
John had already guessed that Sherlock must have felt the same way, but it was still very nice to hear it.  He knew it meant a lot coming from Sherlock and it was obvious it had been difficult to say.  
“Thank you for saying it back. ”  
Sherlock didn't know what to say so he placed an arm around John waist and kissed his neck.  John closed his eyes and held Sherlock tightly, thinking how lucky he was to have this amazing boy in his arms. 


End file.
